Developing your
reputation… Turning negatives into positives in difficult times…
So if reputation is what others think of you, then
character is what you actually are! The following are my own lessons learned in
life in managing to stay true to myself through some difficult times dealing
with difficult people.
Mental Strength:
If something is contrary to your core values, then don’t do it. You may take an
initial short term loss, but your courage and mental strength in saying No will
be rewarded with interest in times to come. Think of it this way, life without
money and influence can be truly happy whereas life without any self respect
cannot!
Integrity: Never
leave a conversation where the counter-party thinks your integrity is for sale.
It does not have to be money, but those with ulterior motives will try to find
a way to comprise your integrity to further their own agenda. Respect has true
roots in integrity. If you are to gain a good reputation that is sustainable,
you need to ring fence your integrity as a prize possession of your character.
If someone stamps on it, push back and state how you need to see the world and
why. If they don’t like it, then can move on one way or another!
Situational Awareness: With
a balanced mind and a calm demeanour, open your mind to everything in your
environment. Read it for clues as to what is coming next and if you
sense/figure out something bad is coming, don’t stress and panic. Remember, you
have the edge as you defeated your counter-party’s element of surprise.
Unfairly springing something on you is common when people have traded their
integrity for bad practice and a couple of bucks! Try not make their problem
yours!
Perspective:
Through all bad encounters, it’s hard to keep perspective. Why you are there,
what will your reputation be like when the ‘Sharks’ are done with you what
impact will it all have on your character??? If George Washington can stay true
to himself maintaining his character in most difficult of circumstances, then
it befalls on us all to follow suite. We never think about these things through
good times and are often ill prepared for the dark times! That said, if you
know what to look for, you can keep your perspective and stay ahead of a dark
strategy that when known is rather predictable and less impressive than when
first encountered.
The above are key to building and maintaining good
character. So with this awareness, we are well advised to manage our reputation
by:
Discretion
- its ok to say ‘no’ to things you find bad, incorrect or just plain wrong! Always
be assertively diplomatic and explain why you disagree. If your counter-party
elaborates on what is asked of you and your picture changes to where you no
longer find it incorrect, bad or wrong, then be flexible. Remember that your
interests are not compromised, so why not get back on board?
Fellowship
- wisdom is in the eye of the beholder, so a calm and informed view on an issue
is a great place to start. Not been afraid to collaborate and ‘admit’ you don’t
know something is an opportunity to show your colleagues that you trust them
and want their help. The bonds of fellowship run deep in good people that have
travelled difficult paths together!
Experience
- As my dear brother would say “pick your battles that make a real difference”.
If your character shines through in what you stand for and what you allow to
pass, then your reputation will follow a similar growth trajectory. Leave
bitterness, hate, anger and jealousy in the past for they only serve to educate
one to a better state of being. Refine your character with your experience
learning continuously how to be a better human being! Such commitment shows in
your character and will reflect positively in your reputation.
Wisdom - A great
Islamic scholar called Rumi once said “If there is light in your heart, you
will always find your way home”. Through times good and bad, we should always
remember our experience, knowledge and understanding dwell in our minds, but
inhabit our hearts! Keeping our hearts clean will reflect in how we live along
with the strength of our character fuelling insights and wisdom on any given
day. Our reputation can be built upon those cornerstones!
Our reputation is a mirror that society reflects upon
us. It’s the communal view of who we are and adjusts as we do through life. You
will notice that those who are honest and strong of character will not see
their reputation change much. It’s not easy at times but eventually society
will recognise good as good and bad as bad. When our children’s children look
back on us many years from now, don’t we want them to remember who we truly
were? In staying true to ourselves, we increase the chance of them seeing this
and embracing what becomes our legacy, which is a clear and honest picture of
our time on this earth.
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