Reputation and Character, two Parts of the Whole

Developing your reputation… Turning negatives into positives in difficult times…

 George Washington once said “Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company”. Coming from a man who was a ruthlessly great leader in times of turmoil and change in the United States, the focus on character and what one should value in difficult circumstances is still key to a good outcome. Everybody respected his reputation, which he built on the timeless tenets of good character.

So if reputation is what others think of you, then character is what you actually are! The following are my own lessons learned in life in managing to stay true to myself through some difficult times dealing with difficult people.

Mental Strength: If something is contrary to your core values, then don’t do it. You may take an initial short term loss, but your courage and mental strength in saying No will be rewarded with interest in times to come. Think of it this way, life without money and influence can be truly happy whereas life without any self respect cannot!

Integrity: Never leave a conversation where the counter-party thinks your integrity is for sale. It does not have to be money, but those with ulterior motives will try to find a way to comprise your integrity to further their own agenda. Respect has true roots in integrity. If you are to gain a good reputation that is sustainable, you need to ring fence your integrity as a prize possession of your character. If someone stamps on it, push back and state how you need to see the world and why. If they don’t like it, then can move on one way or another!

Situational Awareness: With a balanced mind and a calm demeanour, open your mind to everything in your environment. Read it for clues as to what is coming next and if you sense/figure out something bad is coming, don’t stress and panic. Remember, you have the edge as you defeated your counter-party’s element of surprise. Unfairly springing something on you is common when people have traded their integrity for bad practice and a couple of bucks! Try not make their problem yours!

Perspective: Through all bad encounters, it’s hard to keep perspective. Why you are there, what will your reputation be like when the ‘Sharks’ are done with you what impact will it all have on your character??? If George Washington can stay true to himself maintaining his character in most difficult of circumstances, then it befalls on us all to follow suite. We never think about these things through good times and are often ill prepared for the dark times! That said, if you know what to look for, you can keep your perspective and stay ahead of a dark strategy that when known is rather predictable and less impressive than when first encountered.

The above are key to building and maintaining good character. So with this awareness, we are well advised to manage our reputation by:

 Character - per above, never compromise your character. When everything else is gone, it’s all you have. Protect it and it will shine bright in the darkest of nights guiding you to a new dawn!

Discretion - its ok to say ‘no’ to things you find bad, incorrect or just plain wrong! Always be assertively diplomatic and explain why you disagree. If your counter-party elaborates on what is asked of you and your picture changes to where you no longer find it incorrect, bad or wrong, then be flexible. Remember that your interests are not compromised, so why not get back on board?

Fellowship - wisdom is in the eye of the beholder, so a calm and informed view on an issue is a great place to start. Not been afraid to collaborate and ‘admit’ you don’t know something is an opportunity to show your colleagues that you trust them and want their help. The bonds of fellowship run deep in good people that have travelled difficult paths together!

Experience - As my dear brother would say “pick your battles that make a real difference”. If your character shines through in what you stand for and what you allow to pass, then your reputation will follow a similar growth trajectory. Leave bitterness, hate, anger and jealousy in the past for they only serve to educate one to a better state of being. Refine your character with your experience learning continuously how to be a better human being! Such commitment shows in your character and will reflect positively in your reputation.

Wisdom - A great Islamic scholar called Rumi once said “If there is light in your heart, you will always find your way home”. Through times good and bad, we should always remember our experience, knowledge and understanding dwell in our minds, but inhabit our hearts! Keeping our hearts clean will reflect in how we live along with the strength of our character fuelling insights and wisdom on any given day. Our reputation can be built upon those cornerstones!

Our reputation is a mirror that society reflects upon us. It’s the communal view of who we are and adjusts as we do through life. You will notice that those who are honest and strong of character will not see their reputation change much. It’s not easy at times but eventually society will recognise good as good and bad as bad. When our children’s children look back on us many years from now, don’t we want them to remember who we truly were? In staying true to ourselves, we increase the chance of them seeing this and embracing what becomes our legacy, which is a clear and honest picture of our time on this earth. 

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.gratisography.com

www.soundofheart.org

www.americanconstemeple.wordpress.com

www.sheknows.com

Credits;

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgewash135801.html?src=t_reputation

The Art of Communication - Do we say more than we think

Building bridges for the future, it’s harder than it looks!

How many of us automatically look to HR or the Sales guy as an example of a great communicator in our company? How many of us use the same comparison to excuse bad communication from others and ourselves? Afterall, if he’s not a Sales guy, he doesn’t need to be a great communicator, right? Good communication is a requirement for everybody at all levels; if a company is going to be successful over the longer term! It’s the glue that binds people, processes and technology together under a single roof.

So what makes a good communicator? Naturally social sales type? Sure… but the fact is that we can all make good communicators no matter how introverted or extroverted we are! All we have to do is package our message, deliver it so our intended recipient can receive it, decode it and most importantly understand it in the manner that it was intended to be understood in!

Seems straightforward but good communication is dangerously deceptive to grasp in companies of all sizes. Bad communication has quite rightly gotten or shared the blame for many things including:

• Strategic errors due to misunderstandings between managers and C-suite executives.
• Poor morale due to poor employee-leader and employee-employee communication.
• Employees leaving managers/leaders due to endemically bad communication on the part of the manager/leader.
• Employee disengagement due to bad corporate communications policy and resulting company culture
• Creation of a fear based working environment
• Workplace harassment, bullying and intimidation. 

So what is the ‘secret sauce’ that creates good and/or great communication in groups and companies alike? I submit that the following should act as key ingredients  to good/great communication:

Listen more than you speak - the art of communication is understanding. To understand your counterparty, you need to listen to them, understand their message in verbals (e.g. what they are saying/how it is said) and non verbals (e.g. body language/context).

Be emotionally discerning - context is important, if you understand your counterparty’s message, be sure to understand their emotional message also. An angry rant about a supplier may on any other day may be an irritated tangent.

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion - in times of conflict or apparent conflict, counterparties become adversarial and posture aggressively, which is quite literally “fighting talk!” We naturally respond to aggression with aggression, which even at a subliminal level can lead to ‘heat of the moment’ decisions that can irreparably damage reputations and relationships. In such a situation, a good communicator no matter how challenged they are will respond to aggression with assertion valuing protection of interests over protection of position in a conflict situation.

Understand your environment and company culture - too often, a manager with a background in a hierarchical or dictatorial company culture will be placed in a company that has a adhocracy or clan culture meaning a directional manager brings situationally unaware (aka. directional) communication skills with him into an environment that requires consultative leadership. The results unchecked become disastrous over time.

 Know your stuff - knowing what one is talking about is key to good communication. It’s critically important that integrity fills the gap when one does not know or understand something. It’s ok to confirm what was said, ask for a fuller explanation and admit one does not know something. Make it an opportunity to collaborate in search of the missing information. Setting arrogance and ego aside in cases like this defines a professional communicator and wins over an audience. Respect is earned by being professional and following the facts to a logical outcome.

Watch your body language - I have come across many situations where someone would be talking to me in a focused manner but have very aggressive body language. Their words would say “Hey John, when are we expected to deliver on this initiative” and their body language says “Hey stupid, you gonna deliver and make me look good or shall I find someone else to do it after I fire your ass!” Mean what you say and say what you mean. Counterparties will sense deception and even if it’s not meant, your reputation will take a nosedive along with your credibility if you get a name as a schemer/deceiver!

Focus on interests - Leave the posturing and aggression to professional politicians and amateurs. Professional communicators will always set aside positions for interests and treat their counterparty with respect even when they don’t deserve it. In focusing on interests, you set yourself above the rest by simply finding common ground to communicate with your colleagues/counterparties and gain respect by simply giving it, yet maintaining a stance over your own interests and asserting them when needed.

 Now for the art… the self control, thoughtful orientation and situational awareness of the professional communicator will always have an artful agility to their communication style that connects beyond the professional to one’s personal/core values. Those with the artful x factor are charismatic and have the ability to understand their counterparty accurately through what they say, what they don’t say and how they carry themselves. The artful communicator sees a complete picture of who they are and instantly tailors their communication approach to effectively communicate with the individual on an individual basis. Culture, status, power, life stage and social orientation all matter. It’s the artful communicator that can see this in an instant and communicate in a manner leaving the person with a warm feeling that they know them better than they know themselves!

Who you are reflects in what you say, how you say it and what impression you leave with people you communicate with. Make it good by staying true to yourself, your sense of self and how you want to be remembered in this world. For each of us, it is different, but to effectively communicate, don’t be afraid to bring others into your world if even for a moment. Life will be fuller and happier for the effort…

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.boboa.com

www.publicdomainpictures.net

www.picturesofbabies.net

www.pixabay.com

Credits;

Petr Kratochvil took the feature photo (family communication) posted on www.publicdomainpictures.net

The Basics of a Successful Career

In it for the long haul?… why good preparation matters…

We all were 21 once and the indestructible to the world! I can’t count the amount of stupid things done by myself, which have been written off to experience. How any of us get through our younger years is a miracle in itself as the learnt lessons from these years spell out a hard fact! If we don’t prepare in these years for a sustainable career, we will not have one!

So, still in reflection, a brief yet candid reflection of my own twenty something experiences:

A)   Staying fit = Good move

B)   Joining the Army = Good move

C)   Studying Finance = Good move, could have being better

D)   Not embracing my passion after the Army = bad move

E)   Not developing my networking skills = bad move

F)    Not thinking long term career satisfaction = bad move

G)   Not doing a degree that stirs my passion = bad move

So laid bare, one can see how hindsight is definitely 20/20 vision and that its difficult to make a decision in the present, especially when you have just turned 20 and feeling larger than life itself!

I would like to share a story from a course I did after launching my second career in Finance back in the day when the Celtic tiger was roaring for all of Ireland! I was at a life-skills seminar by Ian McClean & Partners and Ian himself shared a great story about a President of a Merchant Bank who was in attendance at one of his courses. When finished the course presentation, the President of the Bank approached Ian and thanked him for the hearty presentation, which he found impressive. He especially liked the analogy of the career ladder against the wall, where you climb it one step at a time. He said that his father was also a President of a Merchant and made him join the bank as a Clerk with no perks or favours done for him. He went into the bank, worked hard and climbed the ladder like everyone else, one step at a time until some decades later; he reached the very top of the ladder! It was only at that time did he realise the ladder was not facing the right wall! Imagine a lifetime of work, success and acclaim with no intrinsic reward for the impact you have made on society? A life’s work spent on a hollow success??

As a youngster, we would argue that “well didn’t the banker get well paid for his troubles?” Sure he did, but money itself is not what makes us happy, it provides a medium for living. Currency is a means to travel life’s path, nothing more. Thing is, if you do your planning and stay committed to your happiness, you can get paid doing what you love, which is a win win!! You win by getting paid doing that you love and your employer wins by having a better and more committed professional working for the company. Society also wins by the increased positive impact given the “good cultural fit” of the employee to the role and organisation.

So, if I could go and do it again, I would change nothing! We all have regrets, no matter how perfect our plans are! Life tends to work on net outcomes with plenty of crests and valleys along its path. That said, there are things folks may want to think about now that will impact their future either way.

Passion – find out what interests you. Use social media to research your areas of interests and keep on going until passion is stirred in an occupation and/or discipline. Don’t think of it in best earning class, think of it in what makes you happy class!

Keep fit – fitness assumed is fitness lost in later years. Stay fit whilst young and it will stand to you in years to come. Develop a lifestyle of keeping fit through exercise, running/field sports and walking. Stay active always!

College – College is a must for charting your career path! Getting a degree will give you more flexibility than without it. A 25 year old genius with a secondary school education, an IQ of 160 and a coding ability that would make Steve Wozniak jealous will not get his CV/Resume past HR in most major technology companies; but the Philosophy degree holder, who partied through college will have a CV that gets an interview! Degrees matter regardless of what path you take! Try to marry your degree major to an occupation you are passionate about!

Networking – 80% of all major decisions in management are made based on the confidence of those presenting according to a McKinsey Institute study I read a few years ago. Networking consistently through meetup.com and social media is a great place to start to polish and practice your networking skills and build an active network for yourself that will last the pace of time! In technology, it’s estimated that over 90% of software hires in junior roles are done from personal networks. Networking will increase your career prospects, potential and effective development over the course of your career, the more you network, the more successful you will be!

All that said, whilst now is the time to be doing the above, make sure it’s all being done to support a direction that you love! If you love what you are doing, you will be happier and the world needs more happy professionals in love with their roles! Why not be that guy today! I will join you are the happy bar as I start my third career in technology and am loving every minute!

           

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.unsplash.com

www.businessinsurance.org

www.careers.answers.com

www.njstatelib.org

Credits;

Course by Ian McClean & Partners was delivered to the Irish Institute of Credit Management, which I then attended as an active member.  Ian McClean & Partners  

Yulia Vambold for the feature picture on unsplash.com