The Art of Communication - Do we say more than we think

Building bridges for the future, it’s harder than it looks!

How many of us automatically look to HR or the Sales guy as an example of a great communicator in our company? How many of us use the same comparison to excuse bad communication from others and ourselves? Afterall, if he’s not a Sales guy, he doesn’t need to be a great communicator, right? Good communication is a requirement for everybody at all levels; if a company is going to be successful over the longer term! It’s the glue that binds people, processes and technology together under a single roof.

So what makes a good communicator? Naturally social sales type? Sure… but the fact is that we can all make good communicators no matter how introverted or extroverted we are! All we have to do is package our message, deliver it so our intended recipient can receive it, decode it and most importantly understand it in the manner that it was intended to be understood in!

Seems straightforward but good communication is dangerously deceptive to grasp in companies of all sizes. Bad communication has quite rightly gotten or shared the blame for many things including:

• Strategic errors due to misunderstandings between managers and C-suite executives.
• Poor morale due to poor employee-leader and employee-employee communication.
• Employees leaving managers/leaders due to endemically bad communication on the part of the manager/leader.
• Employee disengagement due to bad corporate communications policy and resulting company culture
• Creation of a fear based working environment
• Workplace harassment, bullying and intimidation. 

So what is the ‘secret sauce’ that creates good and/or great communication in groups and companies alike? I submit that the following should act as key ingredients  to good/great communication:

Listen more than you speak - the art of communication is understanding. To understand your counterparty, you need to listen to them, understand their message in verbals (e.g. what they are saying/how it is said) and non verbals (e.g. body language/context).

Be emotionally discerning - context is important, if you understand your counterparty’s message, be sure to understand their emotional message also. An angry rant about a supplier may on any other day may be an irritated tangent.

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion - in times of conflict or apparent conflict, counterparties become adversarial and posture aggressively, which is quite literally “fighting talk!” We naturally respond to aggression with aggression, which even at a subliminal level can lead to ‘heat of the moment’ decisions that can irreparably damage reputations and relationships. In such a situation, a good communicator no matter how challenged they are will respond to aggression with assertion valuing protection of interests over protection of position in a conflict situation.

Understand your environment and company culture - too often, a manager with a background in a hierarchical or dictatorial company culture will be placed in a company that has a adhocracy or clan culture meaning a directional manager brings situationally unaware (aka. directional) communication skills with him into an environment that requires consultative leadership. The results unchecked become disastrous over time.

 Know your stuff - knowing what one is talking about is key to good communication. It’s critically important that integrity fills the gap when one does not know or understand something. It’s ok to confirm what was said, ask for a fuller explanation and admit one does not know something. Make it an opportunity to collaborate in search of the missing information. Setting arrogance and ego aside in cases like this defines a professional communicator and wins over an audience. Respect is earned by being professional and following the facts to a logical outcome.

Watch your body language - I have come across many situations where someone would be talking to me in a focused manner but have very aggressive body language. Their words would say “Hey John, when are we expected to deliver on this initiative” and their body language says “Hey stupid, you gonna deliver and make me look good or shall I find someone else to do it after I fire your ass!” Mean what you say and say what you mean. Counterparties will sense deception and even if it’s not meant, your reputation will take a nosedive along with your credibility if you get a name as a schemer/deceiver!

Focus on interests - Leave the posturing and aggression to professional politicians and amateurs. Professional communicators will always set aside positions for interests and treat their counterparty with respect even when they don’t deserve it. In focusing on interests, you set yourself above the rest by simply finding common ground to communicate with your colleagues/counterparties and gain respect by simply giving it, yet maintaining a stance over your own interests and asserting them when needed.

 Now for the art… the self control, thoughtful orientation and situational awareness of the professional communicator will always have an artful agility to their communication style that connects beyond the professional to one’s personal/core values. Those with the artful x factor are charismatic and have the ability to understand their counterparty accurately through what they say, what they don’t say and how they carry themselves. The artful communicator sees a complete picture of who they are and instantly tailors their communication approach to effectively communicate with the individual on an individual basis. Culture, status, power, life stage and social orientation all matter. It’s the artful communicator that can see this in an instant and communicate in a manner leaving the person with a warm feeling that they know them better than they know themselves!

Who you are reflects in what you say, how you say it and what impression you leave with people you communicate with. Make it good by staying true to yourself, your sense of self and how you want to be remembered in this world. For each of us, it is different, but to effectively communicate, don’t be afraid to bring others into your world if even for a moment. Life will be fuller and happier for the effort…

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.boboa.com

www.publicdomainpictures.net

www.picturesofbabies.net

www.pixabay.com

Credits;

Petr Kratochvil took the feature photo (family communication) posted on www.publicdomainpictures.net