Bitter Defeat or Sweet Success - Stepping forward into One from the Other

How belief breaks down the imaginary wall between success and bitter defeat

There is no doubt in my mind that I have made as many mistakes as I have made good decisions in my life thus far! In fact, I would argue that ‘the more I learn, the less I know’ as my world view widens and deepens with the years. Needles to say, this is nothing new, which is why I wonder at how folks become irrationally afraid of failure and at times obsessively proud of their successes?

The answer is complex with things like societal attitudes, culture and external circumstances playing an important part in shaping our view of the world but ultimately is outside of our control So, in life’ trials and triumphs why should we:

1. Become overly concerned about what other people may think?
2. Pay homage to a culture that depreciates our contribution by not ensuring we collectively benefit from our efforts in a fair and reasonably distributed manner?
3. Dwell on the actions of others, good and/or bad that we cannot influence or control? 

As a guy with a few life tales to tell, I can say this! If we respond to the above with “I will do it anyway” and not change our outlook to one where we recognise the uncontrollable elements for what they are; then possible success turns into a certain failure.

So, after figuring out that the struggle within is where all enrichment starts and ends, it’s my view that we should change ourselves by:

Understanding the external forces at work in our environment and not dwell on things we truly cannot change. Steve Jobs did not reinvent Apple by obsessing over the poor treatment he received when he was removed from the company. He looked to himself, changed from within before returning to Apple as a ‘hero’ so many years later. In essence, he learned to let it go to a point where he could achieve his goals!

Quiten our minds when making big decisions at big junctures in life. Ever sit back and wonder about what you could have achieved if you had just listened better, remembered something or sought better understanding before deciding friends are enemies and enemies are friends? I know I have some regrets on poor decisions but undeterred by social taboo, I have chosen to learn from them. A good tip is to learn to meditate for 5 to no more than 30 minutes a day for leaner, stronger and a more controlled mind. It remembers more, processes information quicker and provides a better sense of well being. Even if you do not meditate, when you consider your position on an important topic, try to focus on 2-3 good breaths, then focus on the topic at hand excluding all background noise in your mind. Quieten your thought process to a single thread of the matter in front of you only.

When challenged, pure focus must be fuelled by pure belief. If you are right, but don’t assert your beliefs, then you will fail. Those opposed have to by definition play a dirtier game to rewrite the definition of correct... so don’t let them! Firstly, be clear on what is needed, be sure of what you are doing then use your belief to ensure a genuine ‘win’ is realised after finding out what is right for the situation, compelling others in consultation with your belief and stepping past failure to success with a ‘group’ effort. A solid approach like that with pure focus delivered by pure belief cannot be easily derailed.

Too often, folks fall prey to the temptation of bitter recourse for a situation that “may” harm one’s enemies but ultimately will harm themselves. Gandhi once said “If you change yourself you will change the world.” I like to think we can… all we have to do is believe and our journey starts from within illuminating the road ahead.

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