Life-skills, what my Mamma told me!!

A Journey in leadership and life with one of the Greats...

Despite how we start off in life, we are truly the product of our own decisions and what we do as a result of them! Where our decisions come from is as important as where we are going in life. The joys, the sorrows and everything in between enrich our “inner selves” on a daily basis. It projects forward into the person we are becoming, which often varies from the person we aspire to be. Yet should we discard our dreams, hopes and ambitions, we could say we have survived life but feel cheated by not living it; looking from afar at what could have been whilst cast out to sea.

Bearing this in mind, we often talk to the ones we love about such inner thoughts growing up and as adults. One of my kernel inspirations has being my dear mother whose humility, strength, wisdom and fortitude has inspired me as a small boy to adulthood and onwards for long as I live. In light of her passing in the early hours of Wednesday 26^th 2016, I can categorically say that her love, guidance and counsel have earned a place in my heart, which I will always be grateful for. To understand why I am sharing this story about one of the strongest influences on my own views of life, leadership and love; allow me to share my mother’s story from humble beginnings as a small farmer’s daughter to the night superintendent of one of the most respected private hospitals in Ireland.

Born in September 1929, she was one of five children and was raised in a loving home that worked hard and lived frugally as a way of life. My mother’s first incarnation with the wider world came during World War 2 working in the county home as a Nurses Aid (caregiver). She found it hard to talk of her time there but from what I can make out from talking to her on the topic, she was deeply appalled at what she saw. She was resolutely determined to input humanity back into the caring of others. She went to Bradford in the United Kingdom and trained as a nurse just after world war two. Once again, she dealt a caring hand to the horrendous injuries the war had inflicted on civilians along with the fighting men of the British and Allied Armies. Her life eventually returned to Ireland taking all the lessons she had learnt in the 1940’s and applied them all the way through to her retirement in the 1980’s as the operational head of Nursing for the Mater Private Hospital at night. She effectively practiced servant leadership running a private hospital’s nursing staff by night and was a busy mother by day!! Doesn’t she sound like a superhero?  In my eyes she was a true superhero and always will be!!

So, you can see why I would feel a tad selfish withholding some of the leadership and life lessons my mother thought me so in her honour, it is my pleasure share with you what she shared with me!

Equally ranked, allow me to explore some of the kernel lessons I learnt from my mother through the years, which I still hold dear today:

True character - “When all is said and done, it is not he who inflicts the most that wins, it is he who endures the most who is truly victorious” Susan Mulhall, August 1979 peeling carrots over the kitchen sink.

Never give up - Life can be cruel and unfair. We can lose more then we gain in money and wealth yet we manage to live to tell the tale. Never let life’s little defeats seem big and never give up! A better day will eventually come!

Leadership – Never let title or position in life stop others from talking to you about what is on their mind. Your sole purpose is to them in that moment; making them believe they can be better then they feel they can be. If they believe in themselves, they will rarely let you down.

Prudence – Understand whom you are dealing with and never let a good story blind you to the truth of whom they are or what they want you to believe.

Honesty – Don’t let temptation be a reason to betray yourself. If you are honest with others, you are been true to yourself.

Integrity – Conduct yourself honestly even if it gets you into trouble. Feeling pain over doing the right thing is better then feeling guilt over doing the wrong thing. Life tests us in many ways and even if you are bruised by circumstance, integrity will shine like a light in you for others to see.

Prejudice – Don’t judge a man by the colour of his skin; judge him if you have to by his actions and the colour of his heart.

Judgement – Never rush to judgement on what you don’t understand; seek to understand first and judge only if something good can come from it.

Love – Fancy things are no substitute for real love, love unconditionally and you will be loved in the same fashion.

Life – Live as you see fit, be prepared to stand up for what you truly believe in and never give up. If you can look back on an honest life, it will have being worth it.

This article is dedication to my dear mother, Susan Mulhall RIP, 1929 – 2016! May all that is good in this world and beyond celebrate her life! For those she leaves behind, she has earned a special place in the hearts of everyone who knew her and will never be forgotten!

Susan Mulhall RIP 1929 - 2016

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

momsgoneglobal

Bitter Defeat or Sweet Success - Stepping forward into One from the Other

How belief breaks down the imaginary wall between success and bitter defeat

There is no doubt in my mind that I have made as many mistakes as I have made good decisions in my life thus far! In fact, I would argue that ‘the more I learn, the less I know’ as my world view widens and deepens with the years. Needles to say, this is nothing new, which is why I wonder at how folks become irrationally afraid of failure and at times obsessively proud of their successes?

The answer is complex with things like societal attitudes, culture and external circumstances playing an important part in shaping our view of the world but ultimately is outside of our control So, in life’ trials and triumphs why should we:

1. Become overly concerned about what other people may think?
2. Pay homage to a culture that depreciates our contribution by not ensuring we collectively benefit from our efforts in a fair and reasonably distributed manner?
3. Dwell on the actions of others, good and/or bad that we cannot influence or control? 

As a guy with a few life tales to tell, I can say this! If we respond to the above with “I will do it anyway” and not change our outlook to one where we recognise the uncontrollable elements for what they are; then possible success turns into a certain failure.

So, after figuring out that the struggle within is where all enrichment starts and ends, it’s my view that we should change ourselves by:

Understanding the external forces at work in our environment and not dwell on things we truly cannot change. Steve Jobs did not reinvent Apple by obsessing over the poor treatment he received when he was removed from the company. He looked to himself, changed from within before returning to Apple as a ‘hero’ so many years later. In essence, he learned to let it go to a point where he could achieve his goals!

Quiten our minds when making big decisions at big junctures in life. Ever sit back and wonder about what you could have achieved if you had just listened better, remembered something or sought better understanding before deciding friends are enemies and enemies are friends? I know I have some regrets on poor decisions but undeterred by social taboo, I have chosen to learn from them. A good tip is to learn to meditate for 5 to no more than 30 minutes a day for leaner, stronger and a more controlled mind. It remembers more, processes information quicker and provides a better sense of well being. Even if you do not meditate, when you consider your position on an important topic, try to focus on 2-3 good breaths, then focus on the topic at hand excluding all background noise in your mind. Quieten your thought process to a single thread of the matter in front of you only.

When challenged, pure focus must be fuelled by pure belief. If you are right, but don’t assert your beliefs, then you will fail. Those opposed have to by definition play a dirtier game to rewrite the definition of correct... so don’t let them! Firstly, be clear on what is needed, be sure of what you are doing then use your belief to ensure a genuine ‘win’ is realised after finding out what is right for the situation, compelling others in consultation with your belief and stepping past failure to success with a ‘group’ effort. A solid approach like that with pure focus delivered by pure belief cannot be easily derailed.

Too often, folks fall prey to the temptation of bitter recourse for a situation that “may” harm one’s enemies but ultimately will harm themselves. Gandhi once said “If you change yourself you will change the world.” I like to think we can… all we have to do is believe and our journey starts from within illuminating the road ahead.

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.123rf.com

www.tinybudda.com

https://stocksnap.io/photo/XPNTVEF1SZ

Credits;

Career Ambition... Moving with the times

Ensuring Adaptability and Happiness Dance with Passion and Ambition…

Are you loving Life?… So what’s next?? A promotion, a new job, hobby or even a new chapter in your life??? Or maybe none of the above??? Maybe it’s better to wait until a better time economically to think about oneself and reflect on such questions? Maybe status quo is ok?? Maybe it is.. But what is certain is that they are piercing questions, which demand exploration!!!

Too often, good folks move along Maslow’s hierarchy of needs without really thinking about what they are looking for from psychological needs to self actualisation. On that note, I recall a talk with a life coach who talked of a very successful Merchant Banker and self actualisation. He was trained at a young age as a clerk in the bank, which was led and co-owned by his father. His father, the President showed him no favour in his career making him work hard for every promotion, sometimes trying many times to get promoted until he climbed every rung of the ladder to the top of his profession as President of a Merchant Bank many decades later. He lamented to the life coach about how hard he worked and how successful he was, yet when he reached the top of the ladder, he realised the ladder was facing the wrong wall to truly fulfill him as a human being! On paper, his success was incredible yet in his heart, he felt a gap where his true passion was left unfulfilled.

A sad story of enormous success may leave some slightly confused as to why he can be sad at all? He doesn’t have to worry about a roof over his head or food on the table, right? Very true, but his success is testament to the fact that we are all human and at a human level have very similar needs in order to be whole in this life no matter who we are! We need “to be”, not “nearly to be!”, which is about remembering that life’s true bounty is in the journey, not the destination.

So how does that translate into career ambition and choice? In my view, there is a direct correlation between our work and our lives as the former is such a dominant feature in the latter. If we just follow the societal viewpoint, we will select role and compensation that reflects on what standing we think we deserve in society. In all this focus and decision making, where does happiness and passion fit? Do we dismiss it as folly or embrace it on equal terms with ambition and adaptability in a world that is changing every faster than it did before! I think it would be wise at every career juncture to map out choices in the following areas and rank them from negative to positive as one sees fit!

• Passion: Is my passion stirring great interest in the role description and/or proposition?
• Purpose: Do I see purpose in what is been done at the company and/or industry and/or profession? Also, does this purpose give me a “feel good” feeling that I cannot fully describe when things go well? Do we make a difference?
• Culture: Does the company and/or industry have a culture that relates to my core values or at least does not offend nor challenge them at a core level?
• Adaptability: Am I prepared to be adaptable to my circumstances whilst maintaining my core values as a human being? Will I think outside of the box when it comes to planning my future in a structured manner allowing me to see threats and opportunities in a clearer and more structured way?
• Ambition: Does my ambition align to my passion, purpose, (company) culture and/or adaptability? Will it override who I am as a person or develop who I am into a better version of myself?
• Self-Actualisation: Will all my efforts from this point on lead to me becoming successful, happy or both in life?

If your answer to the self-actualisation question is “both”, then you are truly lucky to have gained the vision to see what you want to become as a whole package and the courage to see it so! If like so many, you are effectively asked to trade happiness for success, then I leave you with a quote from Steve Jobs in his Stanford 2005 graduation speech: “If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” When we look back on our life, we just want to see a full heart that was made whole by our decisions in the here and now. We are the culmination of these decisions and who we are should ultimately reconcile with who we want to be. When they reconcile, we take our place in this world as we have seen ergo our legacy is not an echo of what could have been!

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.en.wikipedia.org

https://stocksnap.io/photo/NVEEDW9B33

www.zengardner.com

Credits:

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs by Simply Psychology at http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Steve Jobs quote from Standard Speech in 2005 by Goodreads.com at http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/445070-if-you-haven-t-found-it-yet-keep-looking-don-t-settle

Career V Lifestyle - Walking The Line

How much is enough when giving to your career?

A simple question was asked of me a while back “how much do I have to put into a startup for it to be a success?” Well my first thought was if you do everything right, you can still fail in a start up. The environment controls many critical elements of a successful outcome, which you can only influence at best.

Enthusiasm is a great asset, but if experience has taught me anything, it needs to be tempered to a wider frame of life.  If we don’t succeed in reframing to a wider view of life, we can get trapped in eternal failure by unrealistic ambition, over dedication to work and vulnerability to those who would abuse our commitment to their own ends. A great way to stay framed to a wider view of work is to think of where one is at and what they will get back in return for all their commitment. What will all those late nights of work bring? Money, status, influence, power and/or promotion??? Maybe, but can’t your boss “steal your credit?” Yes he can but the fact is that overfocus on our desire for money, status, influence and power has made us vulnerable to its dark side. We need to be smarter and think about what we WILL get from all those late nights that is ours and ours alone? If happiness is not on the list, then one is not at the races for a decent lifestyle! In such a case, lifestyle then becomes a career of servitude and unhappiness. It does not need to be that way if we assert our true nature in society! We need to find our own way and own our future!

As with startups, careers working for others require goals, a reward and a limit where we call it a day and continue our search for a better working arrangements elsewhere. Here are some points I have found to be helpful over the years when trying to balance career and lifestyle. Bear in mind I learnt more from my mistakes than from my successes.

• Core Values - Write them down, “I value... “ This may sound strange, but in order to think about our core values, we need to detail them and when they are offended, know when to call it a day. If our deep seated values are not defined, then others will invariably push against them allowing us to become derailed from our true selves.
• Passion - Always too easy to think… “ohh, I’d love to be an astronaut but the family need me to be an accountant, so I won’t think about it!” Well spaceman, if being an accountant doesn’t inspire your passion, find something that does and plan your route to it. If you really can’t join NASA, then find another passion to become your next career and plan your way there in detail. As the old saying goes “If you love what you do, you never work a day in your life!”
• Goals - Write down your goals in life, your “bucket list” if you will! If you want to get married and have children, then make sure your path in life leads down that road. However, if you also want to be a 90 hour a week Wall Street executive, then maybe you should reconsider your goals in life; for realism is the ointment on which we heal from bad decisions and see in a better day!
• Balance - Balancing work and personal life is never easy but if you need to take a break from your personal life to make a work dream come true (or vice versa), make sure it’s short term and is defined by a plan to achieve a detailed objective. It invariably requires sacrifice, so be sure the cost is worth it. For example, I have sacrificed much to train up as a Software Developer and at this early stage am starting to see a return for my sacrifice in increasing competency in programming along with an increasing thirst for more knowledge in the software area. Such change is a very tough yet rewarding process. That’s part of ‘my journey’. What’s yours?
• Flexibility - Like all things in life, our intended plans rarely go as planned so be prepared to be flexible based upon your deep seated core values. Maybe a career setback becomes an eye opener as you see a chance to find your way to a career you love, not tolerate “a job” for a paycheque! Being flexible in a grounded manner is a way of life, which demands sacrifice to say on the right path. However, if you travel the right path, opportunity will invariably come knocking and being flexible is key to grasping it in whatever form it takes. Many paths lead to the oasis of happiness!

The above are guiding principles, which I hold dear based on a good upbringing and sometimes harsh experience in life that has knocked me on my ass more times then I care to remember. What I’ve learnt is that truly successful people won’t worry about failure, falling down or what the peanut gallery of doubters think of them. They focus on their journey, how they will achieve and when knocked down by life’s tribulations, they focus on getting up and brushing off the dirt so they can get on with their journey to a bright, brand new day!

Sources/Credits;

Pics;

www.pain-freelifestyles.com

www.boldbeautifulblissfulu.com

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1444069265785-78ef227de54f?ixlib=rb-0.3.5&q=80&fm=jpg&crop=entropy&s=3497761ffdc6be3a9ede9247c902c6be

Credits;

Feature photo by Angela Litvin on www.unsplash.com

Land of Illusion - Our World View

When looking at the world through abstract lenses, patterns of life emerge that raise questions about we make sense of it

We all at some point love and hate life, see it in different shades of both extremes and seem to never question what we have come to take for granted. From the air we breathe to the evenly applied angles of petals on a daisy, it is simply life, part of our world, which allows us to achieve what we have set out to achieve within its boundary paths.

With the impressive march of technology and time, my own journey has been revealing more and more patterns in life. I was once ignorant of these patterns but now ponder them with excitement and interest. To explain my developing interest in the patterns of life, I often wondered how some folks do better than others after a paradigm shift in “their world”. Who adapts, who fails, who succeeds, who changes the picture completely once again??? This is man made and sits against a world that is more and more connected to itself.

So, enter nature and one begins to wonder about the patterns of uniformity and synchronicity… why do they happen? Who makes it happen? Is it part of nature’s “DNA” for it to happen? Maybe our world is bigger and wider than we once thought? The patterns and mechanics of nature are often mimicked by man, thus we have microwaves, computers, antibiotics, central heating and so on.. A profitable relationship wouldn’t you agree? What if we push the boundaries of this relationship with the world around us, within us, above us and beyond us?? What could we discover and seek to understand, which could help our children’s children on their journey through life?

Here are some of the things I think are gateway areas to future progress, creating a progressive technological window to tomorrow’s world today:

• Quantum Computing - Eric Ladizinsky, CEO of D-Wave gave a great talk on the current progress of quantum computing at Trinity College Dublin late last year where he was able to confirm production of 1000 qubit quantum processors. An amazing breakthrough indeed. Map the progress of this technology over the next 10 years and one can expect to see parallelisation in computer processing power increase many fold within the start of a paradigm change in computer science. This positive disruption to the technologies that run our world today will open a gateway of possibilities for tomorrow’s world! Exciting times indeed!
• DNA, Big Data and Disease - As society becomes more comfortable with the concept of mass data flows, big data analysis and genetic research, the ability to produce more and more insights leading to cures from diseases ranging from haemochromatosis to cancer will escalate the pace of medical technology innovation. At the heart of this innovation, data science will lend a critical hand in the identification of patterns and probabilities that will aid the unlocking of answers to some of mankind’s deadliest diseases.
• Artificial Intelligence - What if every robot, mainframe and distributed cluster had its own AI controller. Imagine a core that you could converse with, understand emotions, right/wrong and then execute self augmenting programming to capture a better outcome for the process. This is a flash of what could be achieved with such technology. Responsible adoption of course is key and should lead all development projects. These outcomes can create the AI reality of the future which will positively impact society at that point.
• Energy - Fossil fuels will soon come to pass and the experimentation with “alternative energy” is something to be explored by disrupters. The fact is that the iron grip of the energy industry over fuels will soon “run out of gas” as the ability to generate energy from solar protons via panels will become so effective, a new age of energy will arise in the quest to have self generating cells that last a lifetime and harness the power of nature to tend to the needs of man.
• Propulsion - We need to travel to the stars. We won’t go far on a tank of gas, so with a developing understanding of the world around us, we can expect to see that new forms of energy, navigation and propulsion will be unlocked by our intrepid minds that don’t accept that status quo as fixed. The quest for knowledge and understanding is a powerful one in a universe that carries us forward with the arrow of time allowing us via entropy to never stand still.

It’s not enough to merely survive life, we must live it to understand our time here and how we fit into the world around us. If we open our hearts and minds to the possibilities that surround us, we commune with a universe that will help us find our way turning a land of illusion into a land of hope for a better day!

Sources Credits:

Pics:

https://stocksnap.io/

https://stocksnap.io/photo/9866CDBF0B

https://stocksnap.io/photo/P6HXICOTZ5

           

Sources:

http://www.irishtimes.com/business/quantum-computers-could-be-next-great-leap-for-mankind-1.2411733

http://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.80.2245

http://ems.tcd.ie/