Life-skills, what my Mamma told me!!

A Journey in leadership and life with one of the Greats...

Despite how we start off in life, we are truly the product of our own decisions and what we do as a result of them! Where our decisions come from is as important as where we are going in life. The joys, the sorrows and everything in between enrich our “inner selves” on a daily basis. It projects forward into the person we are becoming, which often varies from the person we aspire to be. Yet should we discard our dreams, hopes and ambitions, we could say we have survived life but feel cheated by not living it; looking from afar at what could have been whilst cast out to sea.

Bearing this in mind, we often talk to the ones we love about such inner thoughts growing up and as adults. One of my kernel inspirations has being my dear mother whose humility, strength, wisdom and fortitude has inspired me as a small boy to adulthood and onwards for long as I live. In light of her passing in the early hours of Wednesday 26^th 2016, I can categorically say that her love, guidance and counsel have earned a place in my heart, which I will always be grateful for. To understand why I am sharing this story about one of the strongest influences on my own views of life, leadership and love; allow me to share my mother’s story from humble beginnings as a small farmer’s daughter to the night superintendent of one of the most respected private hospitals in Ireland.

Born in September 1929, she was one of five children and was raised in a loving home that worked hard and lived frugally as a way of life. My mother’s first incarnation with the wider world came during World War 2 working in the county home as a Nurses Aid (caregiver). She found it hard to talk of her time there but from what I can make out from talking to her on the topic, she was deeply appalled at what she saw. She was resolutely determined to input humanity back into the caring of others. She went to Bradford in the United Kingdom and trained as a nurse just after world war two. Once again, she dealt a caring hand to the horrendous injuries the war had inflicted on civilians along with the fighting men of the British and Allied Armies. Her life eventually returned to Ireland taking all the lessons she had learnt in the 1940’s and applied them all the way through to her retirement in the 1980’s as the operational head of Nursing for the Mater Private Hospital at night. She effectively practiced servant leadership running a private hospital’s nursing staff by night and was a busy mother by day!! Doesn’t she sound like a superhero?  In my eyes she was a true superhero and always will be!!

So, you can see why I would feel a tad selfish withholding some of the leadership and life lessons my mother thought me so in her honour, it is my pleasure share with you what she shared with me!

Equally ranked, allow me to explore some of the kernel lessons I learnt from my mother through the years, which I still hold dear today:

True character - “When all is said and done, it is not he who inflicts the most that wins, it is he who endures the most who is truly victorious” Susan Mulhall, August 1979 peeling carrots over the kitchen sink.

Never give up - Life can be cruel and unfair. We can lose more then we gain in money and wealth yet we manage to live to tell the tale. Never let life’s little defeats seem big and never give up! A better day will eventually come!

Leadership – Never let title or position in life stop others from talking to you about what is on their mind. Your sole purpose is to them in that moment; making them believe they can be better then they feel they can be. If they believe in themselves, they will rarely let you down.

Prudence – Understand whom you are dealing with and never let a good story blind you to the truth of whom they are or what they want you to believe.

Honesty – Don’t let temptation be a reason to betray yourself. If you are honest with others, you are been true to yourself.

Integrity – Conduct yourself honestly even if it gets you into trouble. Feeling pain over doing the right thing is better then feeling guilt over doing the wrong thing. Life tests us in many ways and even if you are bruised by circumstance, integrity will shine like a light in you for others to see.

Prejudice – Don’t judge a man by the colour of his skin; judge him if you have to by his actions and the colour of his heart.

Judgement – Never rush to judgement on what you don’t understand; seek to understand first and judge only if something good can come from it.

Love – Fancy things are no substitute for real love, love unconditionally and you will be loved in the same fashion.

Life – Live as you see fit, be prepared to stand up for what you truly believe in and never give up. If you can look back on an honest life, it will have being worth it.

This article is dedication to my dear mother, Susan Mulhall RIP, 1929 – 2016! May all that is good in this world and beyond celebrate her life! For those she leaves behind, she has earned a special place in the hearts of everyone who knew her and will never be forgotten!

Susan Mulhall RIP 1929 - 2016

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

momsgoneglobal

Lord of the Rings, how ‘Gandalf the Grey’ teaches us that learned helplessness is a threat in the real world

The fantasy epic Lord of the Rings takes a close look at how evil and despair seed the doom of all unless courage is found to check it! Does the “real world” need to take note?

I’m sure everybody knows the epic middle earth adventures of Frodo, Gandalf and the fellowship of epic heroes fighting the forces of the evil Lord Sauron and his cohort; the deceptively evil sorcerer Saruman!

The character Gandalf the Grey as played by Ian McKellen was a wise and powerful wizard on the side of good against such evil that corrupted the hearts of men to dominate middle earth and herald in a dark age that would have no end. In the first movie “The Fellowship of the Ring”, Gandalf was under the control of his mentor and friend “Saruman the White” who deceived and misdirected him in his quest to destroy “the Ring” of darkness that dominates all other rings given to Men, Wizards, Elves and the Dwarfs of middle earth.  

The storyline continues to a point where our hero Gandalf becomes suspicious of Saruman’s deception; confronting him in an epic battle of good versus evil. Saruman challenged by Gandalf tries to appeal to him to join him! Saruman does this by using the overarching power of Lord Sauron and how pointless it is to oppose him due to a “misguided sense of duty” to his friends and the people of middle earth. He plays on the odds of losing to try and create a sense of learned helplessness in Gandalf and weaken his resolve to oppose him. Gandalf, who appears less powerful but committed to his sense of morality cries foul of this betrayal and makes a stand regardless of the odds against him. He loses the battle but allies with other good men, elves and dwarfs to battle the dark forces opposing them, which leads our heroes to ultimate victory.

So, even in a fantasy based story like this, can we draw parallels to the real world of business? Does the use of over arching power to override core values with learned helplessness and take away hope by dominating those in important positions under such influence actually happen?

A worthy question, which is hard to answer in my view. It is definitely possible but it depends on the person, their sense of self/character, their core values and their situation in life. So here are some indicators to look out for the signs of learned helplessness and what to do in your company to be the unsung hero of the day saving it (or you!) ultimately from itself!

Be practical! Know what your company is in practice as well as on paper. Has it a hierarchical, clan, adhocracy or market culture? Where does the customer, employee, manager and leader sit in the hierarchy? Are employees engaged and listened to? Are good decisions for the greater good cheered or punished based on ethics/longer term benefit v short term cash return? If those answers are inherently negative and paint a picture where employees are treated as mindless tools in a corporate toolbox only capable of only doing their strictly enforced job descriptions, then it’s likely that learned helplessness is the only coping mechanism employees have to survive an oppressive management regime. If one reaches such an opinion from their research, it’s better to walk away from such a company, which by design eats itself from the inside out and is content with a shortened company lifecycle!

Know yourself! Be true to yourself in matters of the heart, which includes the wish to be happy! If your vocation in life lies elsewhere, giving up on where you belong because you don’t know yourself or trust your abilities is just wrong! We are all part of something bigger and will only feed the darkness by being unhappy and feeling trapped in a life we made and only we can really change! Know yourself, take responsibility for yourself and then you can change anything about your world you need to for a better future in life!

Moral Courage. A shiver goes down my spine when I think of how many times I have heard of outrageous and grievous actions taken by bad people against good people whom had leaders that lacked the moral courage to defend their people and/or position against the ill intent of the wicked! Moral courage builds your character and your reputation. It shapes your future and tests you to the ends of your beliefs and your wits! Win that inner battle and your path ahead will only get better, lose that battle and you allow the forces of darkness to roam unchallenged in a more subtle yet similar fashion to its advance in the Lord of the Rings

Priorities… where you belong. Just like the heroes of the Lord of the Rings, we should consider others before ourselves yet never stop our quest to find that place where we belong! Despite what some ‘gig economy’ proponents say, we all must find our place in this world. If working on a company’s payroll doing what you love for that company to the best of your ability, then so be it! Such a contribution is not a “cost” to any company; your above average performance is a contribution to that company as much as it is to yourself because you have found your place in life to excel at being you!

Associate with link minded peers! Edmund Burke once said; “When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.” This is as true today as it ever was, which is why doing nothing carries such a tragic cost for those too weak to dig deep and associate with linked minded peers for a greater good outcome! If you think dark self serving interests will not find you, then you are already found and under its influence. Context of situation and associated remedy is only possible through networking and peerage. Even the great “Gandalf the Grey” established a like minded peerage to succeed in life. I argue we are no different especially in today’s world.

With wealth distribution narrowing along with the tolerance for constructive dissent and sustainable business practices, thinking of the longer term consequences of our actions is as critical as it ever was! We need to carry our self past the pettiness and politics of the day to associate with like minded peers and bring back the balanced approach to love, life and the pursuit of happiness. It will carve out a sustainable future in business leaving only good intent to dwell as our proud legacy!

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

http://www.openculture.com/2016/03/edmund-burkeon-in-action.html

www.pixelstalk.net

www.walldevil.com        

Credits;

Official twitter account of Sir Ian McKellen:  https://twitter.com/ianmckellen

Character Bio ‘Gandalf the Grey”: http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0000143/bio

Learned Helplessness definition: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness

Edmund Burke quote “http://www.openculture.com/2016/03/edmund-burkeon-in-action.html”

Irish Tech News: My First Article on Sustainable Capitalism

Defining Business through a longer lens with Sustainable Capitalism...

Check out my first article on Irish Tech News as below:

COMPANIES CAN HAVE LONGER LIFESPANS BY DEVELOPING SUSTAINABLE POLICIES TO GUIDE GOOD CORPORATE PRACTICE

Bitter Defeat or Sweet Success - Stepping forward into One from the Other

How belief breaks down the imaginary wall between success and bitter defeat

There is no doubt in my mind that I have made as many mistakes as I have made good decisions in my life thus far! In fact, I would argue that ‘the more I learn, the less I know’ as my world view widens and deepens with the years. Needles to say, this is nothing new, which is why I wonder at how folks become irrationally afraid of failure and at times obsessively proud of their successes?

The answer is complex with things like societal attitudes, culture and external circumstances playing an important part in shaping our view of the world but ultimately is outside of our control So, in life’ trials and triumphs why should we:

1. Become overly concerned about what other people may think?
2. Pay homage to a culture that depreciates our contribution by not ensuring we collectively benefit from our efforts in a fair and reasonably distributed manner?
3. Dwell on the actions of others, good and/or bad that we cannot influence or control? 

As a guy with a few life tales to tell, I can say this! If we respond to the above with “I will do it anyway” and not change our outlook to one where we recognise the uncontrollable elements for what they are; then possible success turns into a certain failure.

So, after figuring out that the struggle within is where all enrichment starts and ends, it’s my view that we should change ourselves by:

Understanding the external forces at work in our environment and not dwell on things we truly cannot change. Steve Jobs did not reinvent Apple by obsessing over the poor treatment he received when he was removed from the company. He looked to himself, changed from within before returning to Apple as a ‘hero’ so many years later. In essence, he learned to let it go to a point where he could achieve his goals!

Quiten our minds when making big decisions at big junctures in life. Ever sit back and wonder about what you could have achieved if you had just listened better, remembered something or sought better understanding before deciding friends are enemies and enemies are friends? I know I have some regrets on poor decisions but undeterred by social taboo, I have chosen to learn from them. A good tip is to learn to meditate for 5 to no more than 30 minutes a day for leaner, stronger and a more controlled mind. It remembers more, processes information quicker and provides a better sense of well being. Even if you do not meditate, when you consider your position on an important topic, try to focus on 2-3 good breaths, then focus on the topic at hand excluding all background noise in your mind. Quieten your thought process to a single thread of the matter in front of you only.

When challenged, pure focus must be fuelled by pure belief. If you are right, but don’t assert your beliefs, then you will fail. Those opposed have to by definition play a dirtier game to rewrite the definition of correct... so don’t let them! Firstly, be clear on what is needed, be sure of what you are doing then use your belief to ensure a genuine ‘win’ is realised after finding out what is right for the situation, compelling others in consultation with your belief and stepping past failure to success with a ‘group’ effort. A solid approach like that with pure focus delivered by pure belief cannot be easily derailed.

Too often, folks fall prey to the temptation of bitter recourse for a situation that “may” harm one’s enemies but ultimately will harm themselves. Gandhi once said “If you change yourself you will change the world.” I like to think we can… all we have to do is believe and our journey starts from within illuminating the road ahead.

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

www.123rf.com

www.tinybudda.com

https://stocksnap.io/photo/XPNTVEF1SZ

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Independent Thinking - Making Waves or Just Making Trouble?

Why independent thinking should not be confused with negativity or just plain trouble-making

We all love the thought of an easy life; one where we don’t worry about bills, money in our pocket or why we have to (v ‘want to’) use the bus to work in the morning! Our career journeys are often primed to identify “independent thinkers” that are destined in our eyes to interfere with our plans for a domestic utopia; with us taking remedial action at the earliest possible opportunity. This phenomenon is more common then one might think and in enough numbers can often lead to a malformed clan culture in companies where protectionism rather than visionary insight dominate the company culture and arguably its destiny…

So, in walks the fear of losing one’s job, being relegated in career progression to the guy with deeper insights and/or just not succeeding like one feels they should ‘cos that guy is just doing better…’ It may sound like a case of jealousy, but it is a herald for more serious organisational issues especially in a company(s) where leadership tends to be weak and reactive in nature.  

Needless to say, this if unchecked ends ups a management issue that can often lead to a rounding on the ‘trouble maker’ to suppress his or her “performance” or even expel them from the organisation in the name of employee satisfaction. A direct chase to the finish line of bad management practice is obviously not the way to go, which is why I would recommend to any manager the following:

Is the person in question a balanced independent thinker, a whiner/neigh-sayer or an out and out trouble maker??? You will find such issues always boil down to the initial person of interest been accused of being one or more of the three. So quick definitions of the three and what to do:

Independent thinker: Articulate, outspoken, creatively intelligent, passionate about topics and can exude an air of confidence that at times may intimidate some. Issues often arise due to misunderstandings and/or folks becoming threatened by their willingness to think and step outside of the corporate box on issues. Defying conventions can lead to ‘witch hunts’ so beware of folks trying to manipulate events to paint a person like this in a bad light. If there is ever a need for creative types, it’s in this information era where innovation happens at an ever faster rate. Direct such engagements towards mutual accepting of each other’s value to the organisation and to each other. After all, absent one, the other will be eventually be out of job when the company fails. Creative and process driven employees make a successful company in partnership with well rounded leadership of both!  

Negativity: Negative, passive aggressively forward in meetings and backbiting anybody they feel like behind closed doors. Such personalities often seek to deflect attention from themselves by targeting an outspoken independent thinker with the traits they actually display. They are arguably the master of ‘dirty politics’ and most difficult to spot as they “seem to be liked” more by the silence of others then by direct compliment. They are socially active in groups spreading gossip and an innuendo in an apparently gleeful manner. They are the proverbial ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing.’ If the person you are informed about is charged with such transgression, I recommend you evaluate the complainant as much as the initial person of interest for signs of deception and follow up for signs of social interactivity that indicate narcissism and a sense of grandiose. Getting them talking about their correctness in an issue at an appropriate time can be revealing in this regard. Be sure that after completing your investigation, the results are impartial and the real narcissist is identified as an issue, which should be symptomatically addressed in a firm manner as they will raise issues due to their inevitable (future) infractions, which affords you remedial reproach. That said, always be impartial but never forget who you are dealing with.

  

Trouble Makers: The need to see how a bad employee behaves can be subtle like the negative employee or down right threatening like the argument makers. I had a crazy guy work for me who at a team meeting in an open space with our team and two senior managers in guest attendance told me to “lay off the drugs” in a loud disrespectful manner when I talking. The counselling session afterwards lead to more verbal abuse on his part where a verbal warning was his prize. If someone makes a claim about someone you know to be like that, then be sure to not jump to conclusions but be ready to follow the prescribed disciplinary process of your company after your initial investigation is complete. The results from the investigation can start the disciplinary process. People like that are not worth the effort and arrogantly detract from a team’s effectiveness and longevity in a real way. They need to be removed and if management don’t support you on it, then find a new job!

So, you can see that independent thinkers are the lifeblood of any company's longevity but if you let bad ones in that carry the traits of negativity and/or trouble maker, then be prepared to act for everybody’s benefit and future. A “good cultural fit” often misses this at selection letting in the bad ones and keeping the good ones out. As a manager, it then becomes your problem to fix it and fix it we must!

About the author: John Mulhall is a Community Manager and newly Minted Software Developer. John is also a committed blogger and from February 2016 onwards, will be publishing blogs every second week on topics around Technology, Leadership and Sustainable Capitalism.

Sources/Credits:

Pics;

https://stocksnap.io/photo/VJF8BWGNNW

www.positivethinkingseminars.com

www.123rf.com

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