Thursday 26 June 2014

Communication, do we really mean what we say?

How the science is eclipsed by the art of communication...


We all love to communicate, it’s a part of who we are as human beings and is more deeply inset into our success as a species then we would think. Why? The answer is simple… we take it for granted. After all, who really thinks about one of our greatest evolutionary gifts in detail as we advance through childhood and onto adulthood launching a career or multiple careers? The art of communication is developed as we go and only a few think about the science that describes the process of communication, which we engage in, on a daily basis.

BusinessDictionary.com describes communication as “Two-way process of reaching mutual understanding, in which participants not only exchange (encode-decode) information, news, ideas and feelings but also create and share meaning.” The process can be set out as follows:

Sender encodes transmission>>>Sender transmits message>>>Receiver receives message>>>Receiver decodes transmission.

This is true for all types of messages over all types of mediums such as a face-to-face conversation, a phone conversation, an email, a letter, a text, a social media post, a media article, etc. In the definition of communication, its good to note that there are two main types of communication that are in every message we send. They are verbal communication and non-verbal communication. Verbal communication is described as “The sharing of information between individuals by using speech.” Non-verbal communication is described as Behavior and elements of speech aside from the words themselves that transmit meaning.”

In non verbal communication, tone, posture, pitch, hand gestures, use of capitals/bolds/italics/colours/pictures (in written communication mediums) is all relevant to how the receiver receives, decodes and understands the entire message, both verbal and non verbal in content/meaning. When we look at it this way, we can see how even a blog article on communication has a two way communicative characteristic by the way the article is written in content and meaning to how the reader decodes the article. Do all readers get the same meaning and content? I hope so…. but the wider the audience the more impacting subtle inferences of non verbal communication are in the receiver’s decoding of content and meaning. So folks, I guess I need to get this one right then!

Figure d) Communication Styles Chart


As you can see, whilst we are all unique, we do fall into some situational categories when it comes to what style to adopt in our approach to people both in the workplace and in life. The need for mutual understanding is critical in all meaningful communication and thus I submit it should be a key metric in measuring effective communication. If absent, then meaning is also forgone in the message and a message without meaning is not an effective message at all. 

In my professional experience to date, I have experienced issues with communication, knowing when to speak up, hold my silence, etc. There is so much more learnt by experience thus I think it is fair to say that emotion is embedded in all communication driving ‘our communicative art’ over time. In a sustainable world, our ability to recognise emotion for its ever present value and vice is an inherent part of our success and/or failure given the subtle yet impacting influences it has on our ability to communicate and perform on a daily basis.


Figure e) Emotional Communication Wheel



I would offer the following pointers on communication to further the cause of effective communication for all.

Small talk matters. Small talk in in the work place is like walking on hot coals for some. Be that as it may, small talk has proven to be key to group successes big and small, so the next time someone asks you about your weekend, take two minutes at the water cooler to talk to them about theirs and what’s going on in the office. Its small but can aggregate positively to the overall level of group cohesion and performance/success potential within the group.

Watch your body language. Non-verbal communication is a bigger deliverer of meaning then the verbal content of any conversation. Body language showing emotions like anger, joy, sadness, happiness, which contradict your message’s content, inhibits the impact of the content and creates confusion for the receiver whom is having trouble decoding meaning from your message. Unify your message; encode your body language to be consistent with your content, which increases the efficacy of your message with the receiver. As a side, if your situation becomes confrontational and your counter party is aggressive, ensure your body language doesn’t naturally become aggressive in response… always respond to aggression with assertion!

Contextualise what you don’t understand. It is only human that you receive a message you don’t understand at some point. When you do, try to not make assumptions about the sender’s motives and meaning. If you don’t understand, ask the sender for clarification as to message context and what was meant by any content that you don’t understand. Albert Einstein once said, “If you cannot explain it simply, then you don’t understand well enough”. He is right, so don’t be afraid to reach out for clarification and contextualise the message ensuring mutual understanding is reached which after-all is the goal of the message.

Communicate collaboratively even in conflict. Too many people think conflict is an exercise leading to a ‘win-lose’ outcome. The fact is that this is an outdated and to be frank inward view of conflict which needs to be updated for companies and employees alike to suffer less as a result of it. A company will have a company culture and set of business practices for conflict but what has being proven in studies and experience going back over decades is that the more collaboratively you communicate in conflict, the better the chances of a successful outcome. Try to lean on a ‘win-win’ approach and communicate collaboratively based on interest based negotiation principles where you seek the goals and objectives of the other side, and explore ways to make it happen whilst not compromising your goals and objectives. The compromise comes on points of contention that arise in the process with mutually agreed outcomes on a ‘win-win basis’.

Never dilute a strong point with a weak follow up. Did you ever make a great point and wish you had just stopped talking at that point? I know I have done so and thus always try to focus on how I am going to communicate in terms of approach and content. What works for me is flagging these points in my head before I enter the conversation/negotiation. This allows me to keep them as content milestone markers in my communication, thus the conversation stays relatively on track and the milestone marker points deliver the essence of what I would have needed to say.

A stitch in time saves nine! Communication is about balance, when to act and when to not. The absence of communicative action is an act of communication in itself. Too often in organisational settings, the impulse to evaluate a possibly contentious situation using inward facing rationale leads to one accommodating the individual whom may be loud, brash and aggressive in their position on a point which you know is wrong but accommodate it anyway. This presents an opportunity cost dilemma that may come back to haunt the organisation in times to come. If you feel you need to speak up, then speak up based on the facts, communicate clearly and keep emotive responsiveness under control especially if the brash colleague decides to challenge your points which is often done as a defensive measure. Try to ensure the opportunity cost of assertion in a timely manner does not exceed the opportunity cost of accommodation for the company over time.



We all wish we had more time to take things back and redo them if we could, but the arrow of time does not afford us such luxuries, thus leaving us with the tools and measure of our experience by which to navigate one of the most critical and long serving aspects of human existence which is communication. A sustainable world relies on it… a bright future depends on it…

Source Links/Credits:

Definitions;
a) Communication
b) Verbal Communication

c) Non verbal communication

d) Communication Styles Chart

e) Emotional Communication Wheel


#Communication, #Sustainable Capitalism, #Sustainable, #Organisational, #HR, #People, #Company Culture, #Development

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